A long journey ahead

When someone is sick what do we do? We usually wish for them to get well soon, we baby them, we even make them chicken soup. But, what do we do when our parents are sick? I don't mean the flu, or a cold, I mean serious sick, like cancer. My dad was diagnosed with late stage 2 cancer on April 5th, 2015. I remember when my mom sat me down and told me that my dad had cancer, my heart dropped and I began to cry, hearing that someone you love is really sick is beyond heartbreaking. My dad has gone through so many test and procedures, surgeries, collapsed lungs, and constant pain. It's frustrating, painful, agonizing, and at times it feels completely hopeless. As we grow up our parents grow older and unfortunately the topic of when our parents are no longer around comes up more often. I find myself praying that the day never comes and my parents tell me more often that its just a part of life. And lately it really is a part of our lives because as much as we hope and do the best we can to make sure my dad is healthy, that fear is always present and always terrifying.  Everyday is unknown. We never know if my dad is going to have a good day or a really bad day. We never know if the chemo is going to make him really sick or if he's going to be lucky and this round isn't going or affect him so much. We never know if at 2 am we're going to have to rush to the hospital because he has a bad fever and can't breathe. Our lives now revolve around medicine schedules, appointments, chemo rounds, and whether my dad can keep food down or not. It's not easy waking up and realizing it's not a nightmare, it's reality. It's hard seeing my dad so sick, because as much as I don't want to admit it, he is really sick. And even though he makes me mad and still  treats me like a baby even though I'll be 25 next month he's my dad, and I'm so thankful that he's still here with us because the simple thought of one day having to part with him is the worst pain I've ever felt. Today is a good day for my dad he woke up with some energy and that alone is great. His next chemo is on the 24th and hopefully he won't get as sick as the last one made him. I'm sorry if this was all over the place and chaotic, but that's how I feel lately and I felt like writing this exactly as I was thinking it was the best way for me to get my feelings across. I'm trying my best to keep up with my blog and just my normal routine but these past months have not been easy. But I'm trying and that's all I can do right now. Thank you for baring with me and taking time to read the craziness that's going on in my life. And to everyone that is battling cancer or any other illness I hope that you kick your sickness to the curb and come out healthier and stronger than ever.  Please take care of yourselves! Do what you can to live longer and most importantly healthier lives.

                                                 Isamar